This weekend I didn't exercise at all. I'm not sorry about it and I don't feel bad or guilty about it. I also know that I've eaten terribly. The good news, though, is that even on my worst caloric day this weekend, I was still safely 300 calories under what my body normally burns over the course of a day. Working out 5 times a week, with some of those days being double workouts (running 3 miles and then going to yoga), has me feeling like I'm starving all the time and, when I indulged this weekend, I thought I'd gone overboard. The truth of the matter is, I'm doing ok. I'm recording everything I eat, every exercise I do, and I'm always conscious of what my end goal is.
Granted, my stomach feels far fuller and I don't have the light, empty feeling that comes from a sweaty 36 minute run and an even sweatier 90 minute yoga class; but I also don't feel like I've stuffed myself to the point of no return and I feel like a lard butt. The even better news is that tomorrow is a brand new day and new opportunity to get back on the wagon and get it cracking!!! LOL this is definitely a journey and a process; I'm just happier that it is becoming less and less of a struggle.
Yay me!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Vincit Qui Se Vincit
..."One Conquers by Conquering Oneself". This is the motto of a local, independent school Kingswood-Oxford. I was there earlier today speaking with their Director of Communications about Capitol Squash stuff and, in the building where he office is located, the school motto is imprinted on the carpet in the lobby. I thought it was quite appropriate considering my current goal of trying to choose me on a more regular basis when it comes to my physical activity health and my diet.
Why is it SO difficult to choose to eat properly? Why is it that the food that is so very terrible for you tastes the absolute best? There is nothing that tastes better to me than my mother's fried chicken, pork chops, macaroni and cheese, and cornbread. There is no beverage I would rather have than a tall, ice cold, glass of milk to accompany a double serving size of M&Ms and/or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I crave Pizza Hut pizza and chicken nuggets from Wendy's. Burger King's chicken fries are so tasty and delicious and are even better when paired with a bacon double cheeseburger and a chocolate shake. But all of these foods, as wonderful as they are to the palate, are TERRIBLE for your figure and health. Is it even possible to count the amount of fat and cholesterol in the aforementioned foods? Probably not.
Why is it also so difficult to choose exercise over sitting on the couch and lounging after a long day's work? Historically, people moved around far more than we do now. The sedentary lifestyle is not the one with which humans were initially born; over the years we've become a bodily weary people. The endorphins released after a workout are exhilarating! The feeling of knowing you've done something good for yourself is amazing! Getting the motivation to get up and actually DO those things, though, is tough! Why is that? It's crazy because we all know how good exercise is for us. We also know eating well is good for us. So why do we consistently make choices that go against the very kernels of what is best for us?
Is it because we're lazy? Unmotivated? I argue, for myself, up until recently I didn't want to be slim enough. When you get to a point when you are REALLY tired of the extra rolls around the midsection, the extra jiggle around the thighs, and the turkey chins for triceps, you'll get the energy to be and do better but, as we reference the title of this post...
Vincit qui se vincit. You have to conquer the self that tells you that watching CSI: Miami or Beyond Scared Straight is better and more pleasurable for you than running on the treadmill or hitting up the elliptical or a Zumba class. It is that lazy self that relishes your flab and high cholesterol and propels you toward the couch instead of your closet to get and put on your workout clothes. That is the self that must be conquered. But as much as that self inspires you to be lazy and eat the convenient, tasty food...
.....it sure puts up one hell of a fight when you try to will it away.
But that's ok. Your will power, desire to be more fit, and your stick-to-it resolve MUST be stronger. Like any other muscle, you have to exercise it in order for it to be stronger. And sometimes will power loses the fight; that's ok. You can't beat yourself up about it. It's like pulling a muscle in your leg; you rest it for a little while, but soon you have to start stretching it and working it out and soon it's back, stronger than before.
When we conquer the voice that says "Buy large amounts of chocolate and fried goodies," we conquer the part of our being that has kept us fat for so long.
What have you conquered today?
Why is it SO difficult to choose to eat properly? Why is it that the food that is so very terrible for you tastes the absolute best? There is nothing that tastes better to me than my mother's fried chicken, pork chops, macaroni and cheese, and cornbread. There is no beverage I would rather have than a tall, ice cold, glass of milk to accompany a double serving size of M&Ms and/or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I crave Pizza Hut pizza and chicken nuggets from Wendy's. Burger King's chicken fries are so tasty and delicious and are even better when paired with a bacon double cheeseburger and a chocolate shake. But all of these foods, as wonderful as they are to the palate, are TERRIBLE for your figure and health. Is it even possible to count the amount of fat and cholesterol in the aforementioned foods? Probably not.
Why is it also so difficult to choose exercise over sitting on the couch and lounging after a long day's work? Historically, people moved around far more than we do now. The sedentary lifestyle is not the one with which humans were initially born; over the years we've become a bodily weary people. The endorphins released after a workout are exhilarating! The feeling of knowing you've done something good for yourself is amazing! Getting the motivation to get up and actually DO those things, though, is tough! Why is that? It's crazy because we all know how good exercise is for us. We also know eating well is good for us. So why do we consistently make choices that go against the very kernels of what is best for us?
Is it because we're lazy? Unmotivated? I argue, for myself, up until recently I didn't want to be slim enough. When you get to a point when you are REALLY tired of the extra rolls around the midsection, the extra jiggle around the thighs, and the turkey chins for triceps, you'll get the energy to be and do better but, as we reference the title of this post...
Vincit qui se vincit. You have to conquer the self that tells you that watching CSI: Miami or Beyond Scared Straight is better and more pleasurable for you than running on the treadmill or hitting up the elliptical or a Zumba class. It is that lazy self that relishes your flab and high cholesterol and propels you toward the couch instead of your closet to get and put on your workout clothes. That is the self that must be conquered. But as much as that self inspires you to be lazy and eat the convenient, tasty food...
.....it sure puts up one hell of a fight when you try to will it away.
But that's ok. Your will power, desire to be more fit, and your stick-to-it resolve MUST be stronger. Like any other muscle, you have to exercise it in order for it to be stronger. And sometimes will power loses the fight; that's ok. You can't beat yourself up about it. It's like pulling a muscle in your leg; you rest it for a little while, but soon you have to start stretching it and working it out and soon it's back, stronger than before.
When we conquer the voice that says "Buy large amounts of chocolate and fried goodies," we conquer the part of our being that has kept us fat for so long.
What have you conquered today?
Friday, January 21, 2011
Check In And Find Your Breath
So, it's been a few days since my last post and things are still going well. I've been to yoga everyday and I've been very disciplined about my caloric intake. A couple of classes in a row, though, I've had some small victories that, after about 3.5 years of Bikram, are pretty major.
1. I no longer dread Triangle Pose. I used to absolutely ABHOR this posture because it worked every single cell and muscle in my body. And after about 40 minutes of contorting myself in various positions in other postures, Triangle loomed as the bane of my yoga existence. However, as of a couple days ago, Triangle Pose now offers me the opportunity to check out how FLAWLESS my right side is. I don't look at myself when I do the left side LOL because it is flawed but my right side is on FIRE. There are few things more exhilarating than finally, partially mastering one of the hardest postures in the Bikram Yoga series. Next up on the list of postures to totally own is Eagle Pose. I'll get it, eventually, but for now, conquering my fear of Triangle is enough.
2. I only require 1 half frozen bottle of water. I have finally figured out the correct "formula" for ensuring that I don't run out of the tasty, cold, refreshing goodness that water provides. I have to freeze my pomegranate lemonade bottle 60%-70% filled. The rest I can fill with water to facilitate the melting process. By the time we're on the floor and resting, I'm still good on my water supply AND it's still cold. This is a major accomplishment for someone who went into class with 2 pomegranate lemonade bottles. While it inspired "refreshment envy" of other yogis in the room, it also caused me to sweat WAY more and it lured me into believing I really needed both bottles.
3. I have learned to "check in". In Bikram Yoga, according to Richard Mercer (the owner of the studio where I practice), the benefits come best when you're able to "find your breath". Let me explain. In the beginning of the series we begin with a breathing exercise where you inhale for six seconds and exhale for six seconds. The purpose is to calm your spirit, be able to fill your lungs to their capacity at will and on command, and stretch out your shoulders and neck early in the series. It is this breath to which everyone should return when they feel stress in their bodies during postures. For whatever reason, I never paid attention to this. Even now, the beginning breathing exercise elicits more yawns from me than attention being paid to how well I'm breathing. But the idea of returning to a place of stillness is very much present.
Almost a year ago, I would enter class and prepare to bang it out with every fiber of my being. I would go as far into a posture, as fast as I could, and torture myself into staying as far as I could possibly manage. I would end class completely exhausted, kind of sore, and annoyed that I wasn't feeling as good as I wanted. After a one on one session with Richard, I learned that the actual purpose of the yoga was to go into a posture up to the point where my breath became labored. This meant that it didn't matter if my half moon looked more like an "L" than a crescent if I wasn't in control of my breathing. The same with Standing Head to Knee, Balancing Stick, Triangle, Camel, and any other pose that made you feel like you wanted to die. So, what I have FINALLY learned to perfect is the "check in" process and my Bikram practice has become infinitely better.
From the very beginning of class, I check in with myself. Half Moon Pose is the first set of postures and it begins with a person leaning to the right side (arms above your head, fingers interlocked, thumbs crossed, index finger extended, and biceps by your ears at all times). It's the extended arm piece that can make this challenging. The tendency is to collapse in your rib cage and bend over as far as possible in order to make the posture look the best. This can create very labored breathing. What I do now is bend over a little bit - maybe a third of the distance I know I'm capable of, at my best, and I check in with myself - how am I breathing? If I am breathing calmly and normally, I go a little further. About two thirds down, I check in again. If, still, I am breathing calmly and normally, I go as far as I can. Usually, by this time, the posture is over LOL but the fact that I'm engaging in the process is important to me. I can use this check in process for every posture and, when I do, my postures are better. I may go in and come out of them slower than everybody else in class, but who cares. I can now look forward to Triangle Pose instead of dreading it. And that is a small victory that means the world to me when I'm in a room that's 105 degrees LOL!
Anyway, soooooo onward. My yoga is done for the week and now I have some strength and conditioning workouts I will focus on for Saturday and Sunday. Soon, my friend Jamel and I will begin training for the Broad Street Run (10 miles). Well, HE will be running the race. I'll just be doing the training LOL! It will include, obviously, lots of running, but on the off days, I'll need my Bikram practice to stretch and even me out. Pray for me, yall! I think I'm settling back into the groove!!!
1. I no longer dread Triangle Pose. I used to absolutely ABHOR this posture because it worked every single cell and muscle in my body. And after about 40 minutes of contorting myself in various positions in other postures, Triangle loomed as the bane of my yoga existence. However, as of a couple days ago, Triangle Pose now offers me the opportunity to check out how FLAWLESS my right side is. I don't look at myself when I do the left side LOL because it is flawed but my right side is on FIRE. There are few things more exhilarating than finally, partially mastering one of the hardest postures in the Bikram Yoga series. Next up on the list of postures to totally own is Eagle Pose. I'll get it, eventually, but for now, conquering my fear of Triangle is enough.
2. I only require 1 half frozen bottle of water. I have finally figured out the correct "formula" for ensuring that I don't run out of the tasty, cold, refreshing goodness that water provides. I have to freeze my pomegranate lemonade bottle 60%-70% filled. The rest I can fill with water to facilitate the melting process. By the time we're on the floor and resting, I'm still good on my water supply AND it's still cold. This is a major accomplishment for someone who went into class with 2 pomegranate lemonade bottles. While it inspired "refreshment envy" of other yogis in the room, it also caused me to sweat WAY more and it lured me into believing I really needed both bottles.
3. I have learned to "check in". In Bikram Yoga, according to Richard Mercer (the owner of the studio where I practice), the benefits come best when you're able to "find your breath". Let me explain. In the beginning of the series we begin with a breathing exercise where you inhale for six seconds and exhale for six seconds. The purpose is to calm your spirit, be able to fill your lungs to their capacity at will and on command, and stretch out your shoulders and neck early in the series. It is this breath to which everyone should return when they feel stress in their bodies during postures. For whatever reason, I never paid attention to this. Even now, the beginning breathing exercise elicits more yawns from me than attention being paid to how well I'm breathing. But the idea of returning to a place of stillness is very much present.
Almost a year ago, I would enter class and prepare to bang it out with every fiber of my being. I would go as far into a posture, as fast as I could, and torture myself into staying as far as I could possibly manage. I would end class completely exhausted, kind of sore, and annoyed that I wasn't feeling as good as I wanted. After a one on one session with Richard, I learned that the actual purpose of the yoga was to go into a posture up to the point where my breath became labored. This meant that it didn't matter if my half moon looked more like an "L" than a crescent if I wasn't in control of my breathing. The same with Standing Head to Knee, Balancing Stick, Triangle, Camel, and any other pose that made you feel like you wanted to die. So, what I have FINALLY learned to perfect is the "check in" process and my Bikram practice has become infinitely better.
From the very beginning of class, I check in with myself. Half Moon Pose is the first set of postures and it begins with a person leaning to the right side (arms above your head, fingers interlocked, thumbs crossed, index finger extended, and biceps by your ears at all times). It's the extended arm piece that can make this challenging. The tendency is to collapse in your rib cage and bend over as far as possible in order to make the posture look the best. This can create very labored breathing. What I do now is bend over a little bit - maybe a third of the distance I know I'm capable of, at my best, and I check in with myself - how am I breathing? If I am breathing calmly and normally, I go a little further. About two thirds down, I check in again. If, still, I am breathing calmly and normally, I go as far as I can. Usually, by this time, the posture is over LOL but the fact that I'm engaging in the process is important to me. I can use this check in process for every posture and, when I do, my postures are better. I may go in and come out of them slower than everybody else in class, but who cares. I can now look forward to Triangle Pose instead of dreading it. And that is a small victory that means the world to me when I'm in a room that's 105 degrees LOL!
Anyway, soooooo onward. My yoga is done for the week and now I have some strength and conditioning workouts I will focus on for Saturday and Sunday. Soon, my friend Jamel and I will begin training for the Broad Street Run (10 miles). Well, HE will be running the race. I'll just be doing the training LOL! It will include, obviously, lots of running, but on the off days, I'll need my Bikram practice to stretch and even me out. Pray for me, yall! I think I'm settling back into the groove!!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Cherishing Small Victories
So I had my first hiccup in my "90 Daily" commitment; Sunday and Monday were no gos! However, I am determined to make up for Monday's exercise absence. I need to start thinking outside of the box. I can do my 90 minutes in different sorts of installments. It could also be that I do a yoga double, but not the back to back kind of double LOL! That is certain death! But I CAN do, like, a 9am class and then a 6:30pm or 8:30pm class. I would actually prefer the 8:30 because that gives me about 12 hours in between classes to rest, recover. I had planned on doing that today, during the storm, but I got tired, did some work, and then made dinner so it was a no go.
But, I digress.
So, today I had 2 small victories. The first was that I only brought 1 bottle of water to yoga and I didn't have to refill during the mid-class savasana! I usually freeze a bottle the night before and then bring a second bottle that is not frozen so that I can replace the melted water I drink during the first half of class. Today, I only brought the 1 frozen bottle and, while it got a little close at the end of class, I managed to save the last sip of water for right before the last posture!
The second victory was going to the grocery store after class and not even going past the milk section AND not feeling bad about it. Milk is a huge staple in my life and to not even think about it in the grocery store while I'm getting my food on is a LARGE accomplishment. Instead, I purchased what feels like gallons of diet cranberry juice (5 calories per 8oz) and egg substitute and turkey bacon. Not the same as real egg and pork bacon goodness, but fair enough substitutes considering my weight loss goals. Did you know that cranberry juice, or my favorite cran grape juice, or pomegranate lemonade, can be as much as 150 calories per 8oz? That's the same as whole milk! When I realized that, I almost fell out! So, diet cranberry it is!
I've been able to stay close to my caloric intake goals since beginning on 1/11/11 so I'm making progress! Gotta just stay the course! This is no time to cut and run LOL!
But, I digress.
So, today I had 2 small victories. The first was that I only brought 1 bottle of water to yoga and I didn't have to refill during the mid-class savasana! I usually freeze a bottle the night before and then bring a second bottle that is not frozen so that I can replace the melted water I drink during the first half of class. Today, I only brought the 1 frozen bottle and, while it got a little close at the end of class, I managed to save the last sip of water for right before the last posture!
The second victory was going to the grocery store after class and not even going past the milk section AND not feeling bad about it. Milk is a huge staple in my life and to not even think about it in the grocery store while I'm getting my food on is a LARGE accomplishment. Instead, I purchased what feels like gallons of diet cranberry juice (5 calories per 8oz) and egg substitute and turkey bacon. Not the same as real egg and pork bacon goodness, but fair enough substitutes considering my weight loss goals. Did you know that cranberry juice, or my favorite cran grape juice, or pomegranate lemonade, can be as much as 150 calories per 8oz? That's the same as whole milk! When I realized that, I almost fell out! So, diet cranberry it is!
I've been able to stay close to my caloric intake goals since beginning on 1/11/11 so I'm making progress! Gotta just stay the course! This is no time to cut and run LOL!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Change Your Thoughts And You Change Your World
Already, the enemy of health has tried to strike. It is January 15, 2011 and I've barely been into my 90 minutes a day/1500 calorie regimen long enough to celebrate. Yesterday, after Bikram, my monkey mind kept telling me that the only thing I needed to do was go to Wendy's and get some chicken nuggets and a bacon double cheeseburger and a twisted Frosty with M&Ms. When I promptly defeated this ridiculous idea, my monkey mind then said, well I see your point. How about you stop at the gas station, since you need to get gas anyway, and grab a gallon of whole milk and a double serving sharing size of M&Ms? I said, "NO, monkey mind, NO!"
But I must admit, both of those ideas sounded so delicious and I knew they would be tasty and comforting. I mean, damn. Every Bikram workout sheds at least 1,000 calories. Couldn't I cheat just a little bit? NO! My cheat day is Saturday, today, and I plan to indulge in some Amy Ruth's southern delights but I would feel so guilty doing so if I hadn't worked so hard to stay on track since 1/11/11. I distinctly remember that in Philly, I got so into the groove of my healthier lifestyle that I eventually didn't indulge on my cheat day because I no longer felt the need. Every now and again I'd have a dessert or some fried chicken, but it wasn't the craving I feel right now. I sit in my classroom, dreaming about the fried, juicy greatness that is Amy Ruth's fried chicken. But I also know I've EARNED it. I've been diligent, stayed on my calorie game, and have been committed to my 90 minutes a day. I'm beginning to change my thoughts.
I know it will be much longer before I'm on healthy auto-pilot, and I know there will be many more temptations along the way but the more I think about my progress as a journey, and not as a struggle, I know my breakthrough will come soon enough. I just have to be patient. And that means looking at the committed 90 minutes as time to "choose me". So often in life we choose others - our families, significant others, jobs, etc. For at least 90 minutes everyday, I will choose me. The squats I may end up doing in this 90 minutes of choice may hurt in the long run, but hey; your muscles first have to strain and break down before they can heal stronger and leaner than before. I look forward to the post workout soreness because it means I've done my job. And while I have yet to fully embrace the muscle breaking down process (because it usually means Triangle Pose or Shaun T or Jillian Michaels), I enjoy knowing that eventually, I will fit into that dress.
And that, for the time being, means more than any M&M.
But I must admit, both of those ideas sounded so delicious and I knew they would be tasty and comforting. I mean, damn. Every Bikram workout sheds at least 1,000 calories. Couldn't I cheat just a little bit? NO! My cheat day is Saturday, today, and I plan to indulge in some Amy Ruth's southern delights but I would feel so guilty doing so if I hadn't worked so hard to stay on track since 1/11/11. I distinctly remember that in Philly, I got so into the groove of my healthier lifestyle that I eventually didn't indulge on my cheat day because I no longer felt the need. Every now and again I'd have a dessert or some fried chicken, but it wasn't the craving I feel right now. I sit in my classroom, dreaming about the fried, juicy greatness that is Amy Ruth's fried chicken. But I also know I've EARNED it. I've been diligent, stayed on my calorie game, and have been committed to my 90 minutes a day. I'm beginning to change my thoughts.
I know it will be much longer before I'm on healthy auto-pilot, and I know there will be many more temptations along the way but the more I think about my progress as a journey, and not as a struggle, I know my breakthrough will come soon enough. I just have to be patient. And that means looking at the committed 90 minutes as time to "choose me". So often in life we choose others - our families, significant others, jobs, etc. For at least 90 minutes everyday, I will choose me. The squats I may end up doing in this 90 minutes of choice may hurt in the long run, but hey; your muscles first have to strain and break down before they can heal stronger and leaner than before. I look forward to the post workout soreness because it means I've done my job. And while I have yet to fully embrace the muscle breaking down process (because it usually means Triangle Pose or Shaun T or Jillian Michaels), I enjoy knowing that eventually, I will fit into that dress.
And that, for the time being, means more than any M&M.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Muscles Grow When You're At Rest, Not When You're At The Gym
....and that is likely why my body felt like it was going to collapse this morning. Last night, as the beginning of my 90 minutes a day workout commitment to myself, I did Insanity's Max Interval Plyo (55 minutes, of which I only did 50) and The Biggest Loser Cardio Boot Camp (40 minutes). Insanity has a lot of crazy jumping and varied level movements within each circuit, including all sorts of Power Jumps, Diamond Jumps, Power Push Ups, and different forms of squatting. The Biggest Loser Boot Camp actually scaffolds your cardiovascular workout, starting with Bob, modulating through Jillian, and ending with Kim. I'm thinking it's a good workout when you have NOT totally killed your body with Insanity. Insanity, to me, is a selfish program LOL! I don't think Shaun T really intends for you to do anything else, other than collapse in your shower, after an Insanity workout (even though I know there are some exercise lunatic crazies who do, like, 4 Insanity and P90X workouts back to back LOL - I still love yall Jazz, Evelyn, Erin, Jackie, Jesse, and Luke!)! Alas, after my workouts, I was completely done. The shower felt wonderful. I don't even remember dinner - I think it was a single piece of fish (I couldn't lift much to fix anything else LOL) - and I slept like a baby.
And then I woke up, feeling like I was ole boy in Misery getting hobbled by crazy lady Kathy Bates.
In my previous life (yes, three whole days ago) I would let this soreness deter me from working out today, but I can no longer make that choice. Since I made some poor breakfast choices and only have 240 calories left, in my limit of 1500, for the day, I am further determined to make it to Bikram this evening. I may shoot for the 6:30 class; that way if I feel so inclined, I can rock a double and do my second class with my former coworker. Bikram is always better with a friend. You can give each other crazy looks in between postures; you can try to make each other laugh so that the torture isn't so tormenting; you can share water if you need to. And, thankfully, my 240 calories is just the right amount to have an Isagenix shake after class. I know I will want some chocolate, but I am also thankful that there are no convenience stores between here and Bikram AND that my milk supply is almost done.
I feel slimmer, but I think it's also in my mind. Importantly enough, though, I think that's where this entire transformation begins. It continues when you can look in the mirror and, unconditionally, like what you see. I want to like what I see without having to worry about sucking my stomach in or turning to a certain angle. I also don't want to have to wear Spanxx or Flexees to smooth out the rough spots; I know Tyra Banks admits to wearing them but I don't care about all that.
Finding an appropriate workout regimen is hard work. There is no one "program" that works for everyone. I think, first, you need to clearly identify what your goals are. They don't necessarily have to be "number" related goals; my goal right now is to fit into my mother's dress. I don't know what that means, weight wise, but I'll know when I fit it LOL! Wearing that dress also means I'll be far more likely to be able to roam a Banana Republic or Limited and pick something up and not have to worry about whether or not it fits. I also know what I want my stomach to look like. Every person embarking on this journey has a "trouble" area and mine is my hidden 6 pack :). It is hidden so well under layers and layers of fat that you can't even see it anymore. It's ok, though. Thanks to Insanity and Bikram, I can see my rib cage; that's progress!
But I digress.
When I look in the mirror I can move and manipulate my ample midsection into the formation I wish it would take; my goal, now, is to get it there without having to move it LOL and this, I know, will take a lot of time, patience, dedication, and commitment to deliberate caloric intake and daily exercise.
And far fewer Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and glass after glass of whole milk.
So, so goes another day in this journey. Hopefully today's yoga class(es) will stretch out this muscle soreness and allow me to heal a little bit better. If not, it'll still be a good 900-1000 calories burned and another investment in me.
P.S. As an addendum to this post, I now write after having completed 1.25 yoga classes. Back in my Philly days I regularly cranked out a double every Saturday morning. It is evident, from my being on the verge of passing out, that I am not there yet. It's all good, though. I'm getting better at listening to my body and that will only help in the long run!
And then I woke up, feeling like I was ole boy in Misery getting hobbled by crazy lady Kathy Bates.
In my previous life (yes, three whole days ago) I would let this soreness deter me from working out today, but I can no longer make that choice. Since I made some poor breakfast choices and only have 240 calories left, in my limit of 1500, for the day, I am further determined to make it to Bikram this evening. I may shoot for the 6:30 class; that way if I feel so inclined, I can rock a double and do my second class with my former coworker. Bikram is always better with a friend. You can give each other crazy looks in between postures; you can try to make each other laugh so that the torture isn't so tormenting; you can share water if you need to. And, thankfully, my 240 calories is just the right amount to have an Isagenix shake after class. I know I will want some chocolate, but I am also thankful that there are no convenience stores between here and Bikram AND that my milk supply is almost done.
I feel slimmer, but I think it's also in my mind. Importantly enough, though, I think that's where this entire transformation begins. It continues when you can look in the mirror and, unconditionally, like what you see. I want to like what I see without having to worry about sucking my stomach in or turning to a certain angle. I also don't want to have to wear Spanxx or Flexees to smooth out the rough spots; I know Tyra Banks admits to wearing them but I don't care about all that.
Finding an appropriate workout regimen is hard work. There is no one "program" that works for everyone. I think, first, you need to clearly identify what your goals are. They don't necessarily have to be "number" related goals; my goal right now is to fit into my mother's dress. I don't know what that means, weight wise, but I'll know when I fit it LOL! Wearing that dress also means I'll be far more likely to be able to roam a Banana Republic or Limited and pick something up and not have to worry about whether or not it fits. I also know what I want my stomach to look like. Every person embarking on this journey has a "trouble" area and mine is my hidden 6 pack :). It is hidden so well under layers and layers of fat that you can't even see it anymore. It's ok, though. Thanks to Insanity and Bikram, I can see my rib cage; that's progress!
But I digress.
When I look in the mirror I can move and manipulate my ample midsection into the formation I wish it would take; my goal, now, is to get it there without having to move it LOL and this, I know, will take a lot of time, patience, dedication, and commitment to deliberate caloric intake and daily exercise.
And far fewer Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and glass after glass of whole milk.
So, so goes another day in this journey. Hopefully today's yoga class(es) will stretch out this muscle soreness and allow me to heal a little bit better. If not, it'll still be a good 900-1000 calories burned and another investment in me.
P.S. As an addendum to this post, I now write after having completed 1.25 yoga classes. Back in my Philly days I regularly cranked out a double every Saturday morning. It is evident, from my being on the verge of passing out, that I am not there yet. It's all good, though. I'm getting better at listening to my body and that will only help in the long run!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Eat For Tomorrow, Not For Today
This is Day 1 of my journey toward fitting into the dress my mother gave me that is absolutely GORGEOUS! For those of you who are my FB friends, if you go to my Mobile Uploads, you'll see this wondrous, peach number with a slit up the front that would make Madonna blush! As you can obviously see, my mama had (still has, still has!) it going on and she has passed the dress on to me.
It's just unfortunate that I cannot fit the dress.
Now, granted, the top area will have to be adjusted/tailored so that I don't have a Janet Jackson, wardrobe malfunction. However, from the rib cage on down, making the attempt to fit into this dress is something that is realistic. I may also have to tailor the slit, too, since my mother is a little bit shorter than I am and, well, I'm not trying to have a Britney Spears moment.
Anyway.
So with the onslaught of the New Year comes the requisite implementation of resolutions/goals/benchmarks/etc. that often include losing weight and getting in better shape. I am no different than millions. I've seen Jennifer Hudson on the commercials and I've felt the pangs of hateration. I've completed one cycle of Insanity and completely sabotaged any and all progress I originally made. I've seen a season of The Biggest Loser, felt motivated, started working out with a buddy, but then my buddy bounced. It's not that I can't exercise (I've shaved 9 minutes off my 5k running time, can do a BANGIN' Squat Push Up, and rock the hell out of Standing Bow Pulling Pose in Bikram); it's just that doing so by myself is an absolute bore.
Further, the alteration of the diet is criminal. I can go for a week of doing really well and eating "clean" but then the first time I bite into a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, chomp on an M & M, or drink a glass of ice cold, whole milk (or do all three within 20 minutes), I'm done and I become this gluttonous mess of chocolate/dairy/Wendy's madness. After my gorging, I feel guilty and resolve to do much better the next day. It's always "tomorrow".
Well, it's about time that tomorrow became today. And that happened today - well, kind of last night. I was sending some work emails, debating whether or not I should journey to Bikram Yoga and I was leaning toward not going, but then I looked at my stomach - the stomach I wish, above all wishes, would go away - and said I'd better get up, get dressed, and get it crackin'. I went to class, ran into a former coworker and good friend, and felt amazingly glad I'd made the decision to get up off the couch. I then knew I had to get myself under control.
A few years ago when I was living in Philadelphia, I got to a point where I weighed 225lbs. I was very unhappy with how I both looked and felt and, while I was fly (and will always be fly), I wanted to be more fly. I regularly shopped at Ashley Stewart and Lane Bryant and longed to be able to take something off the rack in The Limited or Banana Republic, try it on, and fit into it. I decided I needed to make some serious changes so I did. I found a way to be physically active six days a week. I started working out in the gym at my job after I coached the volleyball team; I began going to Bikram at least three times a week; I picked up the game of squash and played for hours a week with a coworker; I joined a recreational volleyball league and played once a week; I signed up for an African Dance class that met once a week. On Saturdays I'd do a Bikram double, doing two classes back to back and then I'd cap it off with a big breakfast at a restaurant close to my apartment.
For my diet, I decreased portion sizes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I only drank 8oz of whole milk a day (first thing in the morning and, if you know me, you know milk is like manna from God to me), and incorporated veggies (not a ton, but some) into my lunch. For dinner I would normally devour veggie burgers (courtesy of Boca and Morning Star) while catching up on television, before going to sleep. I was a well oiled machine and regularly dropped 2-3lbs a week. I had this pair of jeans I wore all the time and I was losing so much weight so quickly that it got to the point where I could put the jeans on and take them off without undoing the button and zipper. I was on fire!!!
This schedule, all crafted around actually working, helped me lose close to 40lbs. I was unstoppable. But then I moved back home. I stopped. And it's been such a challenge to get started again. I've been plagued by emotional eating and have not yet gotten back into the Philly Exercise Groove. I've come up with many excuses to explain away my inconsistency but the truth of the matter is, I just haven't wanted it bad enough.
I still fit my clothes (even though some are a bit more snug than others), I haven't had to buy any bigger sizes, and I fit (with some room!) into a size 14 dress from The Limited for my birthday in August 2010. I have more room in my skinny jeans and I can suck my stomach in to get the flat tummy look I so crave. But, you know, that's just not enough for me anymore. I have to start looking at this process in a much more logical, reasonable, and rational way.
I simply need more discipline.
I know what I need to do and I just need to do it. My new motto, as reflected in the title of this post is, "Eat for tomorrow, not for today". That, to me, means that I need to have today's meals with an eye toward how I will ultimately feel tomorrow. Indulging in some comfort food might feel nice in the moment, but I know I'll feel terribly guilty and disappointed in myself the next day. That's not to say I am done with visiting Amy Ruth's and having some fried chicken and waffles; everybody needs a cheat day. I just need to make sure that my cheat day is a cheat DAY and not a cheat WEEK. And I also need to make sure that I, eventually during that day, work SOME of that tasty, fried, and delicious goodness off.
With all of that being said, today is Day 1 of the rest of my new, dedicated life. Well, actually it's Day 2. Yesterday, 1/11/11 was Day 1. This journey will not be easy; I live within 3 miles of a Wendy's, Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Chinese Food Restaurant, and 2 Hibachi spots. But I also live within 3 miles of a Boston Market, Subway, and a Stop & Shop. I may get a craving for non-homecooked food, but I need to just make better choices about the foods in which I indulge.
With today's snow storm, I need to commit to 90 minutes of exercise here in my home. While I have some ideas about how I can get that done, the how is not as important as actually getting it done. I don't care if I have to run up and down my steps, do jumping jacks in place, or do sit ups until I puke (ok, ok not until I puke but at least until my abs don't work anymore), it's got to get done. And for any of you reading this, do not let me weasel my way out of my promise to myself to be better. Check in with me. 90 minutes of working out a day, 7 days a week is a simple task, especially when I have a bunch of in-home videos I can use (thanks Shaun T, Jillian Michaels, Bobby Blanks, and Bob from The Biggest Loser).
I'll try to update this daily, but I can't make any promises. I'm not committing to blogging daily but I do hope to check in frequently enough to keep you informed of my progress :)
And when I fit that dress, please watch out. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and hide ya husbands! LOL
Thanks, Antoine Dodson LOLOL
It's just unfortunate that I cannot fit the dress.
Now, granted, the top area will have to be adjusted/tailored so that I don't have a Janet Jackson, wardrobe malfunction. However, from the rib cage on down, making the attempt to fit into this dress is something that is realistic. I may also have to tailor the slit, too, since my mother is a little bit shorter than I am and, well, I'm not trying to have a Britney Spears moment.
Anyway.
So with the onslaught of the New Year comes the requisite implementation of resolutions/goals/benchmarks/etc. that often include losing weight and getting in better shape. I am no different than millions. I've seen Jennifer Hudson on the commercials and I've felt the pangs of hateration. I've completed one cycle of Insanity and completely sabotaged any and all progress I originally made. I've seen a season of The Biggest Loser, felt motivated, started working out with a buddy, but then my buddy bounced. It's not that I can't exercise (I've shaved 9 minutes off my 5k running time, can do a BANGIN' Squat Push Up, and rock the hell out of Standing Bow Pulling Pose in Bikram); it's just that doing so by myself is an absolute bore.
Further, the alteration of the diet is criminal. I can go for a week of doing really well and eating "clean" but then the first time I bite into a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, chomp on an M & M, or drink a glass of ice cold, whole milk (or do all three within 20 minutes), I'm done and I become this gluttonous mess of chocolate/dairy/Wendy's madness. After my gorging, I feel guilty and resolve to do much better the next day. It's always "tomorrow".
Well, it's about time that tomorrow became today. And that happened today - well, kind of last night. I was sending some work emails, debating whether or not I should journey to Bikram Yoga and I was leaning toward not going, but then I looked at my stomach - the stomach I wish, above all wishes, would go away - and said I'd better get up, get dressed, and get it crackin'. I went to class, ran into a former coworker and good friend, and felt amazingly glad I'd made the decision to get up off the couch. I then knew I had to get myself under control.
A few years ago when I was living in Philadelphia, I got to a point where I weighed 225lbs. I was very unhappy with how I both looked and felt and, while I was fly (and will always be fly), I wanted to be more fly. I regularly shopped at Ashley Stewart and Lane Bryant and longed to be able to take something off the rack in The Limited or Banana Republic, try it on, and fit into it. I decided I needed to make some serious changes so I did. I found a way to be physically active six days a week. I started working out in the gym at my job after I coached the volleyball team; I began going to Bikram at least three times a week; I picked up the game of squash and played for hours a week with a coworker; I joined a recreational volleyball league and played once a week; I signed up for an African Dance class that met once a week. On Saturdays I'd do a Bikram double, doing two classes back to back and then I'd cap it off with a big breakfast at a restaurant close to my apartment.
For my diet, I decreased portion sizes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I only drank 8oz of whole milk a day (first thing in the morning and, if you know me, you know milk is like manna from God to me), and incorporated veggies (not a ton, but some) into my lunch. For dinner I would normally devour veggie burgers (courtesy of Boca and Morning Star) while catching up on television, before going to sleep. I was a well oiled machine and regularly dropped 2-3lbs a week. I had this pair of jeans I wore all the time and I was losing so much weight so quickly that it got to the point where I could put the jeans on and take them off without undoing the button and zipper. I was on fire!!!
This schedule, all crafted around actually working, helped me lose close to 40lbs. I was unstoppable. But then I moved back home. I stopped. And it's been such a challenge to get started again. I've been plagued by emotional eating and have not yet gotten back into the Philly Exercise Groove. I've come up with many excuses to explain away my inconsistency but the truth of the matter is, I just haven't wanted it bad enough.
I still fit my clothes (even though some are a bit more snug than others), I haven't had to buy any bigger sizes, and I fit (with some room!) into a size 14 dress from The Limited for my birthday in August 2010. I have more room in my skinny jeans and I can suck my stomach in to get the flat tummy look I so crave. But, you know, that's just not enough for me anymore. I have to start looking at this process in a much more logical, reasonable, and rational way.
I simply need more discipline.
I know what I need to do and I just need to do it. My new motto, as reflected in the title of this post is, "Eat for tomorrow, not for today". That, to me, means that I need to have today's meals with an eye toward how I will ultimately feel tomorrow. Indulging in some comfort food might feel nice in the moment, but I know I'll feel terribly guilty and disappointed in myself the next day. That's not to say I am done with visiting Amy Ruth's and having some fried chicken and waffles; everybody needs a cheat day. I just need to make sure that my cheat day is a cheat DAY and not a cheat WEEK. And I also need to make sure that I, eventually during that day, work SOME of that tasty, fried, and delicious goodness off.
With all of that being said, today is Day 1 of the rest of my new, dedicated life. Well, actually it's Day 2. Yesterday, 1/11/11 was Day 1. This journey will not be easy; I live within 3 miles of a Wendy's, Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Chinese Food Restaurant, and 2 Hibachi spots. But I also live within 3 miles of a Boston Market, Subway, and a Stop & Shop. I may get a craving for non-homecooked food, but I need to just make better choices about the foods in which I indulge.
With today's snow storm, I need to commit to 90 minutes of exercise here in my home. While I have some ideas about how I can get that done, the how is not as important as actually getting it done. I don't care if I have to run up and down my steps, do jumping jacks in place, or do sit ups until I puke (ok, ok not until I puke but at least until my abs don't work anymore), it's got to get done. And for any of you reading this, do not let me weasel my way out of my promise to myself to be better. Check in with me. 90 minutes of working out a day, 7 days a week is a simple task, especially when I have a bunch of in-home videos I can use (thanks Shaun T, Jillian Michaels, Bobby Blanks, and Bob from The Biggest Loser).
I'll try to update this daily, but I can't make any promises. I'm not committing to blogging daily but I do hope to check in frequently enough to keep you informed of my progress :)
And when I fit that dress, please watch out. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and hide ya husbands! LOL
Thanks, Antoine Dodson LOLOL
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)