Change Your Thoughts And You Change Your World

Already, the enemy of health has tried to strike. It is January 15, 2011 and I've barely been into my 90 minutes a day/1500 calorie regimen long enough to celebrate. Yesterday, after Bikram, my monkey mind kept telling me that the only thing I needed to do was go to Wendy's and get some chicken nuggets and a bacon double cheeseburger and a twisted Frosty with M&Ms. When I promptly defeated this ridiculous idea, my monkey mind then said, well I see your point. How about you stop at the gas station, since you need to get gas anyway, and grab a gallon of whole milk and a double serving sharing size of M&Ms? I said, "NO, monkey mind, NO!"

But I must admit, both of those ideas sounded so delicious and I knew they would be tasty and comforting. I mean, damn. Every Bikram workout sheds at least 1,000 calories. Couldn't I cheat just a little bit? NO! My cheat day is Saturday, today, and I plan to indulge in some Amy Ruth's southern delights but I would feel so guilty doing so if I hadn't worked so hard to stay on track since 1/11/11. I distinctly remember that in Philly, I got so into the groove of my healthier lifestyle that I eventually didn't indulge on my cheat day because I no longer felt the need. Every now and again I'd have a dessert or some fried chicken, but it wasn't the craving I feel right now. I sit in my classroom, dreaming about the fried, juicy greatness that is Amy Ruth's fried chicken. But I also know I've EARNED it. I've been diligent, stayed on my calorie game, and have been committed to my 90 minutes a day. I'm beginning to change my thoughts.

I know it will be much longer before I'm on healthy auto-pilot, and I know there will be many more temptations along the way but the more I think about my progress as a journey, and not as a struggle, I know my breakthrough will come soon enough. I just have to be patient. And that means looking at the committed 90 minutes as time to "choose me". So often in life we choose others - our families, significant others, jobs, etc. For at least 90 minutes everyday, I will choose me. The squats I may end up doing in this 90 minutes of choice may hurt in the long run, but hey; your muscles first have to strain and break down before they can heal stronger and leaner than before. I look forward to the post workout soreness because it means I've done my job. And while I have yet to fully embrace the muscle breaking down process (because it usually means Triangle Pose or Shaun T or Jillian Michaels), I enjoy knowing that eventually, I will fit into that dress.

And that, for the time being, means more than any M&M.