Eat For Tomorrow, Not For Today

This is Day 1 of my journey toward fitting into the dress my mother gave me that is absolutely GORGEOUS! For those of you who are my FB friends, if you go to my Mobile Uploads, you'll see this wondrous, peach number with a slit up the front that would make Madonna blush! As you can obviously see, my mama had (still has, still has!) it going on and she has passed the dress on to me.

It's just unfortunate that I cannot fit the dress.

Now, granted, the top area will have to be adjusted/tailored so that I don't have a Janet Jackson, wardrobe malfunction. However, from the rib cage on down, making the attempt to fit into this dress is something that is realistic. I may also have to tailor the slit, too, since my mother is a little bit shorter than I am and, well, I'm not trying to have a Britney Spears moment.

Anyway.

So with the onslaught of the New Year comes the requisite implementation of resolutions/goals/benchmarks/etc. that often include losing weight and getting in better shape. I am no different than millions. I've seen Jennifer Hudson on the commercials and I've felt the pangs of hateration. I've completed one cycle of Insanity and completely sabotaged any and all progress I originally made. I've seen a season of The Biggest Loser, felt motivated, started working out with a buddy, but then my buddy bounced. It's not that I can't exercise (I've shaved 9 minutes off my 5k running time, can do a BANGIN' Squat Push Up, and rock the hell out of Standing Bow Pulling Pose in Bikram); it's just that doing so by myself is an absolute bore.

Further, the alteration of the diet is criminal. I can go for a week of doing really well and eating "clean" but then the first time I bite into a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, chomp on an M & M, or drink a glass of ice cold, whole milk (or do all three within 20 minutes), I'm done and I become this gluttonous mess of chocolate/dairy/Wendy's madness. After my gorging, I feel guilty and resolve to do much better the next day. It's always "tomorrow".

Well, it's about time that tomorrow became today. And that happened today - well, kind of last night. I was sending some work emails, debating whether or not I should journey to Bikram Yoga and I was leaning toward not going, but then I looked at my stomach - the stomach I wish, above all wishes, would go away - and said I'd better get up, get dressed, and get it crackin'. I went to class, ran into a former coworker and good friend, and felt amazingly glad I'd made the decision to get up off the couch. I then knew I had to get myself under control.

A few years ago when I was living in Philadelphia, I got to a point where I weighed 225lbs. I was very unhappy with how I both looked and felt and, while I was fly (and will always be fly), I wanted to be more fly. I regularly shopped at Ashley Stewart and Lane Bryant and longed to be able to take something off the rack in The Limited or Banana Republic, try it on, and fit into it. I decided I needed to make some serious changes so I did. I found a way to be physically active six days a week. I started working out in the gym at my job after I coached the volleyball team; I began going to Bikram at least three times a week; I picked up the game of squash and played for hours a week with a coworker; I joined a recreational volleyball league and played once a week; I signed up for an African Dance class that met once a week. On Saturdays I'd do a Bikram double, doing two classes back to back and then I'd cap it off with a big breakfast at a restaurant close to my apartment.

For my diet, I decreased portion sizes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I only drank 8oz of whole milk a day (first thing in the morning and, if you know me, you know milk is like manna from God to me), and incorporated veggies (not a ton, but some) into my lunch. For dinner I would normally devour veggie burgers (courtesy of Boca and Morning Star) while catching up on television, before going to sleep. I was a well oiled machine and regularly dropped 2-3lbs a week. I had this pair of jeans I wore all the time and I was losing so much weight so quickly that it got to the point where I could put the jeans on and take them off without undoing the button and zipper. I was on fire!!!

This schedule, all crafted around actually working, helped me lose close to 40lbs. I was unstoppable. But then I moved back home. I stopped. And it's been such a challenge to get started again. I've been plagued by emotional eating and have not yet gotten back into the Philly Exercise Groove. I've come up with many excuses to explain away my inconsistency but the truth of the matter is, I just haven't wanted it bad enough.

I still fit my clothes (even though some are a bit more snug than others), I haven't had to buy any bigger sizes, and I fit (with some room!) into a size 14 dress from The Limited for my birthday in August 2010. I have more room in my skinny jeans and I can suck my stomach in to get the flat tummy look I so crave. But, you know, that's just not enough for me anymore. I have to start looking at this process in a much more logical, reasonable, and rational way.

I simply need more discipline.

I know what I need to do and I just need to do it. My new motto, as reflected in the title of this post is, "Eat for tomorrow, not for today". That, to me, means that I need to have today's meals with an eye toward how I will ultimately feel tomorrow. Indulging in some comfort food might feel nice in the moment, but I know I'll feel terribly guilty and disappointed in myself the next day. That's not to say I am done with visiting Amy Ruth's and having some fried chicken and waffles; everybody needs a cheat day. I just need to make sure that my cheat day is a cheat DAY and not a cheat WEEK. And I also need to make sure that I, eventually during that day, work SOME of that tasty, fried, and delicious goodness off.

With all of that being said, today is Day 1 of the rest of my new, dedicated life. Well, actually it's Day 2. Yesterday, 1/11/11 was Day 1. This journey will not be easy; I live within 3 miles of a Wendy's, Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Chinese Food Restaurant, and 2 Hibachi spots. But I also live within 3 miles of a Boston Market, Subway, and a Stop & Shop. I may get a craving for non-homecooked food, but I need to just make better choices about the foods in which I indulge.

With today's snow storm, I need to commit to 90 minutes of exercise here in my home. While I have some ideas about how I can get that done, the how is not as important as actually getting it done. I don't care if I have to run up and down my steps, do jumping jacks in place, or do sit ups until I puke (ok, ok not until I puke but at least until my abs don't work anymore), it's got to get done. And for any of you reading this, do not let me weasel my way out of my promise to myself to be better. Check in with me. 90 minutes of working out a day, 7 days a week is a simple task, especially when I have a bunch of in-home videos I can use (thanks Shaun T, Jillian Michaels, Bobby Blanks, and Bob from The Biggest Loser).

I'll try to update this daily, but I can't make any promises. I'm not committing to blogging daily but I do hope to check in frequently enough to keep you informed of my progress :)

And when I fit that dress, please watch out. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and hide ya husbands! LOL

Thanks, Antoine Dodson LOLOL